I have had so many ladies asking me about my experience as a Milso and asking for any advice that I could give them. I have only been a military spouse for about 2 years now but it’s already been a wild ride that I couldn’t be more thankful for and I will explain why a little bit later.
So let me start from the beginning. Before meeting my husband I had never been on a military base or spent really any time with anyone in the military so I had no idea of what the lifestyle was. The first BX I ever went into I was so nervous because everything on base seemed so scary/new and I didn’t know what rules I’d be breaking (looking back I was SO paranoid for no reason). I even turned off my phone because I didn’t know if I was allowed to use it anywhere on base haha. For those of you who grew up military or shopped on base regularly this may seem totally silly to you but coming from someone who had 0 experience dealing with anything military related this was a real concern of mine! LOL. So my first piece of advice for ladies who are new to the military community is RELAX. Everyone is SO friendly and it’s not as intimidating as it may seem at first.
I had grown up in one state my whole life. So the thought of moving around every few years to a new base sounded terrifying to me. I’ll be honest it’s still not easy but it has become very fun! The night before we were leaving to our first base I had a total breakdown. I just kept telling my husband…
- “I don’t want to go.”
- “I don’t want to have to meet all new people.”
- “It’s going to be so weird trying to make friends.”
- “I’m probably going to hate it there.”
Just all the normal freak outs when your world is turning upside down. That’s literally what I felt like my life was doing. I had never pictured moving states away from my family. Like let’s be honest for a while I didn’t ever want to move out of my parents house because I’m so close to my family and it was comfortable. I was about to move 1,200 miles away from all my friends and family to a place I knew nothing about and knew no one there except my husband. After my minor breakdown my husband kept assuring me everything would be amazing and we would have the time of our lives. At that time I was thinking “Yeah yeah yeah you have to tell me this because we have no other choice.” but he was 100% right. Ugh when he reads this post he’s going to be so pumped I said he was 100% right about something haha.
We got to our first base and moved into our little base house and for the first couple weeks it was all fine! It felt a little lonely at times because it was still very new, the town was really small, and my husband was always busy with work of course. About a month after getting there my husband and I decided we definitely wanted to get a dog. For many reasons but the main one was so that I would have a little friend with me and the pup would keep me busy. I swear to you getting Duke was the biggest blessing. I could not have gotten through last year without him. We grew SO close and he was so much company you cannot even believe.
(Dukes best friends: Auggie and Waffles)
I was shocked at the fact that I never once felt homesick. I think the biggest thing is that I embraced the fact that this was now our life and I needed to make the best of it and that’s what I did. Some advice my in laws gave me before we moved was to always find something you love about every place you move. When your spouse is in the military or you are you aren’t always going to be living in the most fun places but if you find something you love about each place your time there will become a lot more enjoyable! My favorite things were Lou’s pizza and Marshalls! Let me tell ya…Marshalls was my safe haven. It was the one place I could go where I felt like I was back home or even just in a bigger town.
The other thing that I think is HUGE in having a great experience wherever you go is making friends. I was blessed to have a couple really sweet ladies in my husbands class that I got really close to. These are the friends that you will keep in touch with forever. Seriously I was so lucky to have met some of the ladies I did but especially Ashlyn. Shout out to my homegirl Ash! She helped me break out of my shell when it came to meeting new people. I wouldn’t really say I’m a shy person at all but I didn’t realize how introverted I was until I met someone like her. She was SO friendly, welcoming and outgoing to everyone she met! So everyone, whenever you move somewhere new, be like Ashlyn haha.
Even though my time as a milso hasn’t been that long at all I have still learned a lot in this short amount of time…
- I am able to adapt to situations a lot faster than I ever would of thought.
- It is scary not always having a plan but it has become such an adventure.
- The key to enjoying your life is to learn to go with the flow.
- Don’t get attached to plans. They will change.
- Make lasting friendships.
- Be understanding that your spouse is busier and more stressed than you could ever imagine and just be there for them.
- Find something you love at every place you get stationed at.
- Stepping completely out of your comfort zone is the smartest and bravest thing you can do.
- Trust Gods process.
- Just go for it!
I really hope this helps any of you ladies who have DMed me or emailed me about this topic. It’s scary because its new and I get that. Everything works out how it is supposed to and I couldn’t be happier with the adventure that I am on! Please let me know if you have any other questions. I’ll try to help as best as I can!💗